Jericho Girls Love Their #Eeeats

April 1, 2014 Sydney Bass 11

A Satirical Article By DANIELLE BLAINE and STEPHANIE NERI

JerUh-Oh

 

Are you a fan of food instagrams? Jericho girls live for taking artsy pictures of their triple scoops of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream drenched in sticky caramel and whipped cream with a vibrant red cherry on top. The real question is: do they eat it?

We sat down with Jodi Smith, a senior at Jericho High School, to get the real scoop. When asked about her latest Instagram of her juicy, crispy bacon egg and cheese sandwich from the Jericho Deli, she responded by saying, “First, I made the bagel my model. I took some pictures and then chose the best effect. I was debating between Valencia, X-Pro II, Willow, and Toaster. But shortly after choosing the best filter, I thought to myself, ‘Why would I eat that?’ It exceeds my calorie count for my Bahamas Diet! So, I gave it to the first person that walked in the door.” Next, we caught up with Maria Jones who, according to her Instagrams, can eat like a horse. She ate ten whole California rolls at Toku last night! “That Instagram made me #InstaFamous. It got me 123 likes in two hours. That’s more than I get on a #SelfieSunday!” If she actually ate that sushi, she would have needed to be rolled out of the room!

This epidemic that is spreading throughout the Jericho neighborhood may be fulfilling the girls’ wishes to reach their highest amount of likes, but it is definitely not giving them the healthy nutrition that they need. But who needs nutrition with Spring Break on its way? Check out our pictures of actual Jericho foodie photos below!

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These photos were discovered on Jodie Smith’s secret Instagram account. She uses this account to track the food that she actually eats.

 

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11 Comments

  1. I laughed out loud at “I made the bagel my model.” This article gives new meaning to “say cheese.” Just delish.

  2. This was a really funny article! I loved the mention of the Bahamas diet!

  7. So accurate! I know of a lot of girls that do this exact thing!!

  8. I really like your use of hashtags throughout the article. And the play on words, “If she actually ate that sushi, she would have needed to be rolled out of the room!” made me laugh out loud. Overall, this article really appealed to me because I love taking fooodstagrams.

  10. I thought this article was very funny. I thought it was ironic how so many students were taking pictures of food they were supposed to have ate while they never ate it at all due to the Bahamas Diet.

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