Break Binge Bonanza
By SAM NEWMAN
I know we hate to admit it, but our lives are consumed by ceaseless celebrity gossip, barrages of new television shows with plots that seem to sound exactly the same, endless processions of superhero movie sequels and blockbuster reboots (or, as I like to call them, cash cows), and no one wants to spend his entire winter vacation preoccupied with all of this no-good, waste of time, useless nonsense. Wink.
What else are you going to do during your winter vacation? You can’t go outside, since the snow doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. The mall is repetitive, and while we may want to tell our friends, but mostly family, that we curled up with a nice, non-Kindle book in front of the fireplace as the days went by, the truth is we just want to binge on Netflix. Now, while the overwhelming amount of content available nowadays seems to be, well, overwhelming, I am here to sort the bad from the worst and the good from the great. Here is your February 2015 Break Binge Watching Bonanza Schedule! (It’s a little overwhelming … )
Obviously, everyone has different tastes in television shows, so I have set out three different plans for three different types of people:
Plan 1 is for the suspense-addicted, cliff-hanger-loving, sci-fi viewer who doesn’t recognize that it’s 2 a.m. but has an insurmountable urge to finish the season.
Plan 2 is for the bromance-loving, mix-of-comedy-and-crime-seeking-with-a-little-something-different-lover who doesn’t love to binge but will give it a chance.
Plan 3 is for the introspective, politically-oriented, celebrity-loving watcher who sees binge watching as an immature component of adolescent life and therefore will only spend time enjoying high class well-done television (but secretly watches “The Real Housewives” for pleasure.).
NOTE: The first rule of binge watching is don’t look at the number of episodes! I’m not kidding!
February 13th at 4:15 p.m.
Plan 1: Congratulations – your dreams have come true! You are starting “The Walking Dead.” This is the critically acclaimed and the most watched show on cable with an average of 17 million viewers a week. “The Walking Dead” is just plain awesome! It’s also available to stream on Netflix.
Plan 2: Take a deep breath, grab your popcorn, and get started on “White Collar.” Thrilling, humorous, and lots of fun, this show will keep you entertained and wanting more. Available on Netflix.
Plan 3: Emmy winner Julianna Margulies (yes, from “ER”) is your new best friend on “The Good Wife.” This network show is a huge hit and can compete with the likes of “Homeland” and “Breaking Bad.” It’s available on Amazon Prime Instant Video. If you get your packages from Amazon with free two day shipping, you have access to thousands of movies and TV shows for free!
February 14th at 7 p.m.
I know you’re hooked on your awesome TV shows, but it’s time to take a two-hour break with an Academy Award nominated movie to prepare for the ceremony on February 22nd.
Plan 1: “American Sniper.” Go see it! This latest film from Clint Eastwood is action-packed and stars Bradley Cooper – you’ll love it! Currently in theaters.
Plan 2: “Boyhood.” If you’ve been hesitant about seeing this movie, don’t be! It is great and the whole family can relate to it. You can rent it on demand.
Plan 3: “The Theory of Everything.” A thought-provoking movie with incredible performances, and an undoubtedly Oscar-winning role from Eddie Redmayne, one of the singing guys from “Les Miserables” (yes, we all know you saw it). It is currently in theaters.
February 15th at 11 a.m.
I’m glad you’re loving your TV shows, but it’s time to do some form of exercise.
No, I’m not joking. Take the pile of food wrappers and empty glasses from your night table, and go put them in the kitchen garbage. I would also suggest taking a shower, but that’s just me.
Now get back to watching.
Continue watching your shows. Enjoy!
February 17th at 7 p.m.
Time to watch another Academy Award nominated movie at the discounted Tuesday night theater.
Plan 1: “Interstellar.” Written and directed by Christopher Nolan, director of “The Dark Knight” trilogy. ‘Nuff said. It also stars Matthew McConaughey (alright, alright, alright), Anne Hathaway, and Jessica Chastain. Currently on demand.
Plan 2: “Birdman.” No, not “Batman” or “Superman,” but “Birdman.” It’s a quirky movie with excellent cinematography, and stars Michael Keaton, the Edward Norton, and the Emma Stone. Currently in theaters.
Plan 3: “The Imitation Game.” Yes, I am purposely choosing movies with British stars because I know you like their accents and they make you think you’re watching a sophisticated movie, which you are. “The Imitation Game” stars Benedict Cumberbatch – whom you either know as Sherlock Holmes in the British series “Sherlock” (not the CBS one, “Elementary”), or as Kahn in the latest installment in the cash cow (remake) of “Star Trek” – and Keira Knightley. Currently in theaters.
February 18th – 19th
Continue watching shows.
February 20th at 9 a.m.
It’s okay. Take a deep breath. Your life is not over just because the show is.
Plan 1: “The Walking Dead” is on this Sunday night at 9 on AMC.
Plan 2: I don’t have good news for you. The show is actually over, forever.
Plan 3: “The Good Wife” returns the first Sunday in March at 9 p.m. on CBS.
You may be asking yourself the ultimate question: Now what? I have the answer for you:
Plan 1: “Game of Thrones.” Give it three episodes. Hint: It is supposed to be confusing, but once you get it down you are good to go. Another piece of comforting information – the show is based off the book series by George R. R. Martin, so if you ever have that “Where is this going?” thought, have faith because it’s all written down.
Plan 2: “Suits.” Give it one episode, and you will be hooked. It’s on Amazon Prime Instant Video. Don’t know what that is? Go back to the top and read the first set of instructions for Plan 3.
Plan 3: “House of Cards.” Only two seasons to watch and the third returns in one week, so have fun! You may be doubting your ability to binge watch another show, but just remember, Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright are married and ruthless. You’re welcome. Only available on Netflix.
February 21st at 7 p.m.
One last movie before Oscar Sunday tomorrow!
Plan 1: “Gone Girl.” Based off of the best-selling book and starring Ben Affleck. Directed by David Fincher. Rent it on demand.
Plan 2: “The Grand Budapest Hotel” from the mind of Wes Anderson. If you don’t know who he is, give him a try (if you like it, he has a lot more where that came from and if you don’t, oh well). Currently in theaters.
Plan 3: “Still Alice.” Your girl Julianne Moore. Have I steered you wrong, yet? If I have I’m sorry, but this movie is great and she will win the Oscar for it. In theaters now.
Final day of the break (February 22nd) at 8 p.m.
Where did all of that time go? You were cuddled up with a book weren’t you? No? Weren’t you? Yes. That’s what I though. Wink.
Plans 1-3: You’re watching the Academy Awards on ABC with host Neil Patrick Harris.
February 23rd at 7 a.m.
Good morning, sunshine! Time to put some water on your face and get back to school.
Netflix will always be waiting for you when you get home.