Apr 1, 2015
14 Signs You’re a Jericho Student
A Satirical Article
By CHLOE CITRON
1. You can always be found with coffee in your hand to keep you awake from last night’s cram session.
2. You can be found lugging your review books everywhere you go.
3. Along with your heavy backpack, of course.
4. You get mad at yourself for constantly saying “like,” but you do it anyway.
5. The only bus you ride is the Magic School Bus.
6. You get your lunch dropped off every day by your “personal assistant.”
7. You fall asleep in math because you were up all night studying for the gym quiz.
8. You’re in five clubs and have an officer position in each of them.
9. You have all of your tutors’ numbers on speed dial.
10. You only cut class to study for another class.
11. You brag about being the #2 school in the country.
12. You have so much work that sometimes you think about not doing it, but of course you do it anyway.
13. You complain about living here.
14. But secretly, you wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.