14 Signs You’re a Jericho Student

A Satirical Article

By CHLOE CITRON

1. You can always be found with coffee in your hand to keep you awake from last night’s cram session.

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2. You can be found lugging your review books everywhere you go.

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3. Along with your heavy backpack, of course.

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4. You get mad at yourself for constantly saying “like,” but you do it anyway.

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5. The only bus you ride is the Magic School Bus.

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6. You get your lunch dropped off every day by your “personal assistant.”

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7. You fall asleep in math because you were up all night studying for the gym quiz.

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8. You’re in five clubs and have an officer position in each of them.

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9. You have all of your tutors’ numbers on speed dial.

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10. You only cut class to study for another class.

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11. You brag about being the #2 school in the country.

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12. You have so much work that sometimes you think about not doing it, but of course you do it anyway.

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13. You complain about living here.

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14. But secretly, you wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

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