Controversial Dress Causes Prom Division

A Satirical Report

By SAMMI STEIN

Becoming a viral sensation in late February 2015, the infamous blue and black dress, or gold and white dress, has fashioned major disputes at Jericho High School. Since the widespread reaction of frustration and anger, nearly 30 arguments have broken out between students and teachers alike. In addition, blue and black dress viewers have elected to cut off all communication with white and gold dress viewers, making it extremely difficult for whole class discussions. Moreover, white and gold dress viewers have refused to do their assignments or participate in classes taught by teachers who see the dress as blue and black.

For these reasons, Administration has made the executive decision to hold two proms this year: one for white and gold dress viewers and one for blue and black dress viewers. According to Principal Joan Rosenberg, “Prom is such a memorable and exciting time for our seniors and it’s not worth having it ruined over a dress. Especially with all of the prom dresses that will be present, the potential for new arguments among students is simply not a risk we are willing to take.”

As stated by blue and black dress viewer and Jericho Senior Erikah Busch, “We are all very blue about the prom situation, but in the end, it’s better to have a colorless prom than one full of conflict.”

Ex-Best Friends Erikah Bush and Elise A. Phishman haven't spoken in weeks due to their disagreement over the colors of the widely circulated dress.

Ex-Best Friends Erikah Busch and Elise A. Phishman haven’t spoken in weeks due to their disagreement over the colors of the popular dress.

 

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