March Madness Malaria

By JASON CHOI and YASH KUMAR

It’s March and that means Jericho High School has began to suffer from the yearly disease of March Madness Malaria, a condition in which students and staff become NCAA Tournament addicts. Jericho High School’s academics have suffered greatly, with students receiving extremely low grades.

English teacher Ms. Gonzaguh shared her concerns on this topic. “This time of the year is always really a struggle. Every time I turn back from the board, I see kids watching the games or checking their brackets,” she said.

Ms. Carolina, a teacher on hall duty, has put no effort into teaching. Witnesses conclude that she really just yells, disrupting all the classes in the hallway.

Student Ken Tucky is very frustrated with his teacher, Ms. Carolina, who is too focused on March Madness. He said,“We took an English test on ‘Romeo and Juliet’ about three weeks ago and we still haven’t gotten it back.”

Even security guards have been caught slacking. A recent visitor complained of waiting to be signed in for a very long  time. “The guard didn’t even acknowledge me. He was watching some stupid basketball tournament instead of doing his job, ” he said.

“Kids have been asking to use the bathroom more frequently since the start of that wretched tournament,” says Ms. Bucknell. She added, “I’m certain that kids are leaving the room just to watch the NCAA tournament.”

Luckily, the tournament ends soon, and the faculty hopes the disease will be eradicated by next year.

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