BY EVA BROWN ’27
As the wind carries a crisp chill in the air and the leaves begin to fall, a chunky creature makes its presence known on the grounds of Jericho High School: Gert the Groundhog.
Around three years ago, Gert was discovered by the English department, as the groundhog’s burrow is adjacent to the English Teacher Workroom. The English department is very invested in Gert, as the critter brings great joy with each appearance. English teacher Ms. Allison D’Antonio, who believes Gert is a female groundhog, stated, “Every time she comes out, we all crowd around the window to see what she does.”
While it is not confirmed that Gert is actually a girl, the English department has decided to adopt this persona for the marmot, even crafting lore for Jericho’s groundhog.
When Gert was first discovered, the English teachers held a small contest to name her. Ultimately, Ms. D’Antonio won the contest, naming the groundhog Gert. Ms. D’Antonio said, “There was something about her little waddle and her fluffy fur that gave me the vibes that she was definitely a Gert.”
In a recent development, the English department has collectively inferred that Gert is now a mother. “I believe Gert might be married,” said Mrs. Mellene Hederian. “In the spring we saw her with a mate and I believe some offspring. I would verify this with other witnesses.”
Ms. D’Antonio confirmed that the groundhog does, in fact, have a growing family. Ms. D’Antonio said that in the Spring of 2026, “[the babies] scampered around the grounds and tried to climb the brick retaining wall to get to the top of the hill.”
Although Gert can be perceived as cute, some teachers find her beastly. In reality, groundhogs are notoriously timid and non-aggressive animals. Recently, groundhogs have been burrowing later and emerging earlier due to climate change, explaining why Gert has been making more appearances on campus. Long Island is a perfect place for a groundhog to thrive, as, according to CBS News, “Suburban development provides [groundhogs] with endless food and safe, undisturbed places to burrow.”
Dr. Marin L. M. Beaupré, a professor in behavioral ecology, evolution, and biology education at Stony Brook University, explains that groundhogs see an opportunity for growth and expansion on Long Island, especially now that their hunters–foxes–are dwindling in population. Dr. Beaupré said, “there is an increase in available resources and a decrease in current dangers” for ground hogs on Long Island, making Jericho’s own lush suburban landscape the perfect home for marmots like Gert.
While groundhogs may be harmless to humans, they are prone to destroying many well-maintained gardens, leading many Long Islanders to view them as pests. Seeing an opportunity, many pest control businesses are now helping homeowners exterminate groundhogs through baited traps, and will then fill their burrows.
Here at Jericho, there is no such groundhog-hating. Even those who might have once feared Gert, now can’t help but find the creature charming. While taking a phone call outside, English teacher Ms. Kali Muscarella did not realize that Gert scurried across her feet. Ms. Muscarella was initially shocked but then realized that Gert wasn’t causing harm, but was just rushing for food out of hunger. “I screamed because I was so startled,” said Ms. Muscarella, “but all Gert wanted to do was eat more grass.”
When Gert isn’t entertaining the English department, she enjoys watching all of the outdoor sports on the fields, cheering on the Jayhawks with her presence. One of Gert’s favorite spots to burrow is under the bleachers on the lacrosse and soccer field. While Gert’s presence is reassuring to Jayhawk athletes, the size of her burrow can be bothersome. Girls Varsity Lacrosse Goalie Emily A. ’27 said, “When we get to practice, Gert’s home is under the bleachers and it’s a big hole. Sometimes our stuff falls into the hole, which is inconvenient.” Athletes are aware of Gert’s burrow so that they don’t lose their personal belongings, but also so they don’t disturb Gert’s natural habitat.
Having Gert the groundhog–and possibly her babies–on campus adds to Jericho’s magic. As Mrs. Hederian hypothesized, Gert is just a harmless marmot pursuing her dreams. “Gert has big dreams of being an architect someday. Or a chemist. Or a ballroom dancer,” said Mrs. Hederian. “Just joshing! Gert is a karaoke singer!”
While we may never know Gert’s true backstory, we can be certain that her existence reminds us of the power of imagination and the way a furry friend can undeniably brighten even the worst of days.
As you walk or drive around campus, slow down and keep an eye out for our friendly friend, Gert the Groundhog.
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